Today was fast Sunday and we fasted for our ward missionary experience. I fasted for some specific people and hoping that I can be inspired to help A & J. Church time for us this year is 1:00 pm. I was super excited to have the free morning, but also had anxiety of what to do with Shaeler until church started. I awoke and watched the Joseph Smith Story with Brian and Shae. What an amazing movie that is. I cry like a baby when they operate on his leg and when Joseph and Emma bury their children. The movie is so helpful to me as I am preparing my talk in the next couple of weeks.
After the movie, I helped Brian with getting the Quickbooks transferred over to the new computer. I then transferred over our pictures and I found a movie that Janet had sent to me of Shaeler's 1st birthday. I cry when I see her as a baby and that those days are over. She was such a sweet baby.
I cleaned up for church and headed over to the Stake Center to deliver the newsletters to the 1st ward YW pres. I got to hang out with Kristen in the Stake office and said some things that I felt terrible and horrible over. It was not my intention at all to be hurtful, but it was one of those word vomit moments that you try to make it sound better and you just dig a bigger hole for yourself. I love her and that friendship so much that I would never EVER want to hurt her. I felt horribly bad.
I came home and we left for church. I got up and bore my testimony and sat down feeling dissapointed with what I said. Why is it that I can think of very clear powerful thoughts and then completely struggle to express them. My conclusion is that I need to bear my testimony more often for it to come more easily.
Church was wonderful. We are studying the New Testament in Gospel Doctrine which is my favorite book of the Standard Works. We have a new RS presidency and they taught their first lesson today. My thoughts go out to them as they all seem so nervous and out of place. They are all wonderful women and I know that they will gain the confidence and strength very soon.
We came home and broke our fast. I made a game plan as to what I was going to eat because when I am hungry, I will grab whatever I can. I ate healthy like I was suppose to. I feel like I am getting control of my body and their is power and confidence with that control. I hope to keep it up.
I read 18 pages of BOM and 10 pages of Jesus the Christ and now we are all laying in my bed as I type this entry and Brian and Shaeler are playing angry birds. Tomorrow, the busy life starts up again, but I am doing my best to be pro active and prepared. My favorite quote that I am trying to live by today is:
There are 2 kinds of people in this world: those who act and those who are acted upon. I believe it was Jacob or Nephi that talks about the same thing.
I also made my first list of dreams and New years resolutions for 2011. They are:
1. Go to Nauvoo
2. Study the New Testament lesson every week for Sunday School
3. Be more outgoing in saying hello, goodbye and talking with people.
4. Be more charitable
5. Work on family relationships
6. Read Jesus the Christ
7. Read The Life of Christ by Farrell
8. Lose 10 lbs and hit 138
9. Stretch and gain flexibility
10. Read more books
11. Be a happier, fun mom and wife.
Peace of cake right? These are my goals and I am struggling with dreaming bigger dreams. Need to figure what ceilings I can break to live a life full of adventure and accomplishment.